Roll up for the Misery Tour!

Mike Ashley's Magical Misery Tour!

Mike Ashley’s Magical Misery Tour!

While the wheels on the Gus Bus have well and truly come off, there is one coach that will be rolling around town tomorrow firing on all cylinders – Mike Ashley’s Magical Misery Tour!

What, other than a terrible Beatles reference, is the Magical Misery Tour? Well the fine folk at MAOC – the Mike Ashley Out Campaign for you troglodytes who aren’t already aware have arranged an open-top bus parade to highlight the off-field financial ‘success’ NUFC have been having and to give Mike Ashley a well deserved pat on the back for a job well done…Your esteemed writer, like the Magical Misery Tour itself, is being heavily sarcastic, and I for one hope people take the gesture in the humorous way it is intended, as well as realise the poignant point that is being made.

Enough from me, I will let the folks at MAOC explain all about the Misery Tour that will be hitting the streets tomorrow before the Manchester United game, here is what they had to say,

The date is significant not because this fixture used to be a high-profile game between two top clubs but because April 5th is the end of the financial year and we want to highlight how Newcastle United appears to be more of an accountancy exercise these days than a football club and sporting institution.

The ironic ‘celebration’ will show that the club has achieved exactly what it set out to do in its hopelessly limited aim of Premiership survival whilst not taking Cup competitions or European qualification seriously. Amongst a general feeling that Mr Ashley has nothing to contribute to the progression and growth of Newcastle United, fans also want to highlight concerns over the following  issues:

•             The continued feeling of alienation and exploitation fans feel from the club they love and support

•             Asset stripping; the latest proposed land sale at the Gallowgate End appearing to permanently end any chance of future ground expansion

•             Lack of ambition, direction and investment. Cashing in on our best players, whilst being bottom of the league in team investment over the last 5 years.

•             The free advertising enjoyed by Mr Ashley’s companies inside St James’s Park, which the club have now admitted is seen as an offset to Mr Ashley not charging interest on his non decreasing interest free loan!

•             The continued contraction of NUFC Commercial Revenues making the club appear hamstrung at a time when  Financial Fair Play rules show that revenues will be crucial for growth under the new regulations

•             The financial ‘blackhole’ created by MASH Holdings and the questions which arise as to whether fans’ money goes towards the benefit of the football club.

•             The continued diminishing of the Newcastle United brand and identity.

•             The association of the club with morally dubious sponsors

This ‘event’ is meant to highlight in a humorous way some very serious points about the running of the club. If you’re out and about Newcastle city centre please give us a toot or a wave to show your support.

NUFC needs new direction, new leadership and accountability.

On behalf of the invited bus guests.

MAOC Committee

There you have it. If you see the open-top bus parade, be sure to give it a toot or a wave as it passes by. God knows, it could be the only time we have an open-top bus parade in Newcastle for a long time…


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