End of season (almost) review

The boredom of mid-table obscurity

Well the season  is, thankfully, almost over. In years gone by, no matter how poorly we had performed, how disappointing our cup runs had been, or how pathetic our league finish was, I always mourned the passing of the Premier League season, and looked forward to the next one with gusto. I must admit that this is the 2nd year running that I am longing for the end of the season and willing the start of the next one to never come.

To some this will seem like an alien concept that is quite unfathomable, to others I will be putting words to how they already feel, but genuinely I am going to try to be as objective in my analysis of our season as I possibly can…who am I kidding? It was shite. Even the times when we weren’t quite as shite as we are now, we were still relatively shite. We relied heavily on 2 key players; Cabaye and Remy, neither of whom will be lining out in black and white next season, and without them, the true nature of how shite we are was exposed.

Amidst the plethora of pathetic performances we did manage to nab some excellent results and even some half-decent performances, so I will pay lip service to those now before launching back into my tirade – Liverpool at home, Chelsea at home, Spurs away, Manchester United away, Hull away (despite Nut-Gate) are all results worth mentioning. While we escaped from White Hart Lane following a miraculous Tim Krul master-class, and nicked 3 pts at Old Trafford in a season when even the likes of West Brom and Sunderland are winning there, the shine is taken off it somewhat. The reality is, we’ve had a mediocre season, and have been saved by the mediocrity of others coupled with performances from players who are either no longer here, or will no longer be here. Not exactly the stuff of dreams now is it?

There are some who will look at me and think I am on a different planet, “But we’re 9th in the league! How can that be a bad season?” To them I say it is not about where we have finished in the league, rather it is more about how we’ve finished there. At the start of this season, following our horror show last time out, would I have accepted 9th? I would have thought it an improvement yes. However, when one considers that at Christmas Newcastle United were sitting on 30 points – 6 points behind Liverpool, level with Spurs, 2 points ahead of Manchester United and a massive 20 points ahead of Sunderland – it becomes quite clear where the source of frustration comes from. An opportunity was missed in January to kick on and turn what has been a relatively bland season into a great season. The sale of Yohan Cabaye was an apt demonstration of what Mike Ashley intends to do with our club; secure safety before January, if that has been achieved then flog your best player and muddle on through to the end of the season. So yes, we are 9th in the league. So what? 9th isn’t a trophy. 9th hasn’t excited the fans. 9th couldn’t keep Yohan Cabaye from wanting more. What exactly is 9th? Nothing. Interesting to note, that with one game left we could still finish 10th. Top 10 means bugger all to me.

I’m not going to dissect the god awful run of form Newcastle United have been on since Boxing Day, we’ve all experienced it, and got riled up about it so I’m not going to raise it to the fore. Nor am I going to mention the blatant stupidity of Pardew for nutting David Meyler other than to say it is testament to the lack of class the man has as well as the unwillingness of Mike Ashley to part with his prized mouthpiece. The only thing I am going to say about the 2nd half of the season is this – expect more of the same next season. There are those praying that this awful run of form will see Ashley sack Pardew, or that when Remy leaves Ashley will splash the cash for next season. Think again. The squad we will start next season will no doubt be lesser in quality than the one we started this one with, with returning loanees paraded around “like new signings”, and with Shola inevitably getting a new contract to “lead with his experience” as he’s a real “goal-getter” (3 goals in 53 appearances since Dec 2012 would seem to question that logic…) and we will be told how we couldn’t get anyone over the blasted line, which is more like an insurmountable mountain to NUFC. We will also be told how we cannot financially compete with the likes of Southampton, and the goalposts on how many players we are after will change depending on the wind – Pardew says 3/4 this transfer window, Lee Charnley says 1/2 per calendar year – who do you believe? I am no soothsayer, or some form of mystic. Any NUFC fan who has a memory spanning longer than 12 months will know that we’ve heard this all before. The club doesn’t even put any effort into their lies any more because they know we will readily gobble it up without question..

Thankfully, at our last home game of the season, thousands of fans joined in with a walkout protest to show their disgust at the regime and show them that not everyone is willing to gobble up their lies. Thousands more applauded their efforts and stayed to provide a toxic atmosphere aimed at Ashley and Pardew. These people deserve our praise, but likewise so too, do those fans who have already voted with their feet and abstain completely. These fans, many of whom are former season ticket holders, and die-hard Mags, deserve to be commended. A special shout goes out to the fine folk at the Mike Ashley Out Campaign. They literally voted with their feet by putting on a protest march back in October, as well as providing a constant presence at home games all season (even in the pouring rain) and engaging in some self-deprecating humour with their “Magical Misery Tour” which saw an open-top bus parade for our fiscal security as a facetious look at how Ashley is running the club. They have taken a lot of flak from a lot of people all season, simply for doing what they think is right by our club.

The walkout seems to indicate that those who scorned protests in the past, are now slowly beginning to see the ever-growing need for change, and while walking out once may seem like a seismic shift, it is but a drop in the ocean and is one small step in a long journey that us NUFC fans need to travel together if we are to stand a chance of succeeding. But the message must always remain – we can succeed.

Even if you are of the persuasion that fan pressure can achieve nothing and that Ashley will not sell until he is fine and ready, you may be right, but isn’t it worth putting pressure on him? If that pressure makes him sell up a year, a month, a week or even a day before he otherwise would have done then surely that counts for something? A wise man once said that all it takes for evil to triumph is for a few good men to do nothing. Don’t do nothing. Not when our club is at stake.

This article is not really a season review. My articles have not really related to the football side of things, and I haven’t been able (or motivated) to write on a regular basis on the subject of NUFC. To me, this is my own personal reflection of how hollow and empty the football side of things makes me feel. I want to gorge myself on the subjects of transfer speculation, tactical permutations and specific performances but I won’t. Not while Ashley is in charge, because what stands as NUFC is not a football club – not my football club – but rather an empty shell masquerading as Newcastle United.

One day we will get it back.

Southampton horror show came as no surprise

Leave, both of you, for the love of God…

I said we’d get a hiding and that is exactly what we got. From the first minute the result never seemed in doubt, and watching it I had a feeling of ‘how many goals are we going to conceded today’. The solid display of Rob Elliot was filling me with some hope that we could escape this game with a 2-0 and be able to scarper northwards with our tails between our legs, but not too badly beaten. Unfortunately, there was only so much Elliot could do, as he was dreadfully let down by the 10 players in front of him in what has to go down as our single worst performance of the season (and there have been some contenders this season) as we failed to threaten the Southampton goal in 90 minutes of football. If we were still playing we’d still not have gotten a shot on target.

Simply put, it was an embarrassment and everyone associated with Newcastle United should be ashamed of themselves.

Southampton are supposedly our nearest rivals in the Premier League, if that is the case what does that say about the utter chasm that currently exists between both football clubs? Not only is there a chasm in terms of quality on the field, but there is a chasm in the way both clubs do business. There is a chasm in the way both clubs develop their young players. There is a chasm in the trajectory of both clubs; one with an ever increasing upwards curve, one with a very predictable downwards one.

Some of the football on show yesterday, from Southampton at least, was mesmerising. It was quick, sharp, fluid. Look at some of the players they had on show – Luke Shaw, an 18-year-old academy product destroyed the ‘world class’ (note the sarcasm) Hatem Ben Arfa who had to be replaced at half time.  Shaw was not the only academy product, with impressive performances from the young full-back Chambers, midfield player Ward-Prowse and of course the ever improving Adam Lallana. Add to this the fact that Southampton’s academy has produced players like Theo Walcott, Alex Oxlaide-Chamberlain and of course, Gareth Bale, it shows that with the right infrastructure, a club can build its future on the basis of their youth products. Something Newcastle United have failed miserably at.

Not only do Southampton develop their own talent, but they do clever business as well. The 11 Southampton players on show yesterday cost less than £20 million pounds, through youth development as well as clever business, with the likes of Boruc coming in on a free, and nominal fees paid for talented players like Jack Cork and Steven Davis. So not only are we being outdone by Southampton in trying to develop young players, but we are also streets behind them in terms of our dealings in the transfer market, despite the fact that there are still some people praising Ashley’s shrewd business in terms of transfers.

Look at the respective managers. While I’m not Pardew’s biggest fan, nor his staunchest critic, he is miles and miles behind Mauricio Pochettino in terms of quality. In every way possible, Pardew is the inferior manager.

If I had to guess where both clubs will be in relation to each other next season, I would say that Southampton, following another summer of investment and further development of their blossoming home-grown talent, I would expect them to further close the gap between themselves and the top 7 clubs. Whereas I expect Newcastle United, following a summer of flogging our best players and not replacing them with the requisite replacements, I see us closing the gap between ourselves and those languishing around the bottom of the table.

Football is both a beautifully complex, yet wonderfully simple game. In all aspects, other than increasing profit margins, we are getting it oh so woefully wrong.

Only one man is to blame. If you choose to blame individual player performances, or to slate the manager, you are missing the point. If you think it is futile to take action against Ashley, you are ensuring his stay at our club will be a lot longer than it would have been if you had have opened your mouth against him. Don’t sit on your tod and accept this bullshit.

I expected a hammering against Southampton. Since when is it acceptable for a Newcastle United fan to expect a hammering off Southampton!?!

Big club? No. A formerly big club which now has to re-evaluate everything it stood for. Because what it previously stood for – community values, pride in the region, passion, loyalty. All of these traits are being betrayed and replaced by profit margins and re-sale values.

This is not my club. This is not your club. I am scarcely even able to believe that it is a football club any more but a tacky advertising hoarding for the man who is destroying it. But by all means, keep filling his pockets. Keep buying his merchandise. Keep telling yourself that the next transfer window will be different. It won’t be different.

There will be some who tell you that 9th is a good season, and compared to where we will finish next season it probably is.

The race for 8th! More like a slow crawl…

Will ‘revive’ the dressing room

I don’t wish to dwell too much on the Everton result. I’m one of the more vocal critics about this team, and the direction it is going in, but that all stems from my well-founded hatred for Mike Ashley. Without Loic Remy we struggle to score goals and without Debuchy we struggle to prevent conceding them. Take the two of them from the team and we’re going to struggle, and against very good opposition (Everton aren’t quality opposition) we were made to look like a bunch of amateurs. The defending for the first goal was a comedy of errors that would have been funny for non-Newcastle United supporters. The lack of cover for Paul Dummett, who was being destroyed by Deloufeu the entire game, demonstrated how our coaching staff failed to make even the most obvious of tactical changes. Needless to say, we were beaten by a much, much better side. However, the fact that a club like Everton are streets ahead of us in terms of quality and where they are as a football club has to be one of the more damning indictments of where Mike Ashley is taking us.

As I said, I am not going to dwell on the game, we were poor, we were beaten, end of. Next up is the ‘crunch match’ against Southampton in the game being billed as ‘the race for 8th’ – it’s being billed as this either by those who are being incredibly sarcastic or by bona fide morons.

Having watched a lot of both clubs this season, I wouldn’t describe this game as a ‘race’ but rather more of a slow crawl; as the headline would suggest. While Southampton are a team I very much admire, in particular, players like Lallana, Rodriguez and Shaw are excellent players who should all be on the plane to Brazil this summer. However, despite this admiration I do feel that Southampton are a flawed side as well. They buckle under pressure, and while it is rather easy to play football on the front foot, when the pressure inevitably comes back at you you’ve got to be able to cope with that and in recent weeks, I’ve seen little grit and determination from this Southampton side – case in point being the utter capitulation in the 2nd half at White Hart Lane following an impressive 1st half performance where they totally dominated proceedings.

I predicted a few weeks ago that Southampton would finish in 8th comfortably, yet we still occupy that position by a single point over Southampton – due solely to lucky last-minute winners against Aston Villa and Crystal Palace which afforded us 6 points when 2 looked likely as well as the fact that Southampton look keen to hand us 8th place with some really poor results of their own – defeats to West Ham and Spurs in recent weeks. I still think Southampton will finish above us and no doubt it will be lauded as a successful season for us to finish just behind Southampton due to how we ‘cannot compete financially with clubs like Southampton’ – That was an ACTUAL quote from the silver fox about our respective clubs!

So realistically, here is how I see things panning out. I can see us getting beat off Southampton fairly easily, Southampton will finish in 8th with us a good few points behind them in 9th which will be hailed as progress. That is my pre-match assessment. I will not go into any more detail because the rest of our season does not matter. Forget about this season it is dead and buried. I am going to focus on the future – ie the next couple of months.

In an attempt at being pre-emptive I will guess what the apologists will say. They will say that the likes of Everton and Southampton spent more money than us so it is to be expected that they finish above us. They will say that clubs like Swansea and West Ham spent more money than us so it is a success that we finish ahead of them and shows that money can’t buy success blah blah blah. They will compare us to Sunderland who have had great cup runs but look likely to get relegated and will say that they would rather mid-table obscurity than the delirium of a Wembley visit. They will look at the next transfer window and say that we should ‘wait and see’ and that ‘this window will show whether Ashley has ambition or not’ despite the fact that they said the same thing 3 transfer windows ago.

All of the above is utter tosh, of course. We were outspent by every single Premier League club this season – due to the fact that we spent nothing. It is never success for a club like Newcastle United to finish 9th, or even 8th if we win this nail-biting ‘race’ against Southampton. Mid-table, early cup exits, 2 derby defeats and the sale of the best CM we’ve had since Speed or Lee can never be seen as a successful season.

As for the next transfer window? It will get worse before it gets better. Remy is certain to leave, as is Shola due to his contract expiring and de Jong looks unlikely to be offered the chance to stay at Newcastle United permanently unless he can get some goals. Colocinni is likely to leave as well, with Hatem Ben Arfa in the shop window with only 1 year left on his contract. Mathieu Debuchy, Tim Krul and Cheick Tiote are our remaining high value assets and while I don’t think Krul or Tiote will leave the club, I do think Debuchy could be eyeing the exit. Whether a club comes in to match his valuation remains to be seen.

It is without doubt that we entered this season at least 3/4 players short of an accomplished squad. We have been relatively lucky with injuries this season yet when minor injuries stuck, we have been woefully exposed – as we have been recently. So if we were to state that with the sale of Cabaye, we are 4/5 players short of an accomplished squad, with the departures of Remy and Shola certain, that number increases to 6/7.

So without even speculating about the possible sales of other United players, it remains that we need to sign 6/7 players in order to have a competitive squad.

There will be people out there who will be happy if we sign 1 striker, a winger and a Cabaye replacement and see that as progress. Despite the fact that this will leave us with 2 strikers, one of whom will be Papiss Cisse. It will also not bolster the squad as we’re simply replacing a player we’ve sold 6 months prior as well as signing a winger we’ve desperately needed for years.

We need to demand more from Ashley. We will sign players this summer. I am certain of it. The reason I am certain is because we will be relegated if we don’t. Ashley is lowering our expectations to such an extent that we will welcome any signings as progress, he is the benevolent master and we are the worthless dogs on the ground feeding off the scraps from his table – at least that is how he sees us.

When will we have some respect for ourselves and demand more. I will state it right here and right now that unless we get 6 quality players who can make an immediate contribution to the first team, we will struggle next season. We will certainly finish lower than the 9th position we are currently occupying and unless we make that number of signings we will realistically be fighting a relegation battle.

Sound over-dramatic? That is the reality we are faced with. Do not let the apologists and the happy clappers fool you into thinking anything different.

Race for 8th? This time next season we’ll be involved in a much more exciting race. A race for survival.

Wake me up when this season ends

The boredom of mid-table obscurity

After a brief hiatus of only a month or so, I have seen fit to exercise my writing fingers once more, if for nothing more than to vent the bile from my spleen and get rid of the bad ju-ju. Those of you of a happy disposition, content with where we are currently sitting in the league and waltzing blissfully towards the end of the season can stop reading now. I am going to do a brief re-cap of the last few weeks before assessing tonight’s game against Everton and it is not going to be pretty so you have been warned.

Well it seems only logical to pick up on the main news stories that have occurred regarding NUFC in my absence from the blog sphere, with the first obvious one being Alan Pardew’s nutting of David Meyler and his subsequent 7 game stadium/touch-line ban he has received for that. The issue has been done to death, and I for one am not going to delve into the ins and outs of the incident, or perpetuate the story of a biased southern media baying for blood when it comes to Newcastle United, but what I will say is that Alan Pardew has embarrassed the club with his antics, and not for the first time might I add. I appreciate that he does his job with his hands tied behind his back and is constantly the first port of call when it comes to answering for the sins of Ashley, but if he is looking for sympathy from the Geordie faithful and the wider Newcastle United support, he is going entirely the wrong way about it.

What I found to be the most grating about the incident was that it detracted from what was easily our most accomplished 90 minutes of football (save for the first 5 minutes of the second half) that we had seen from United all season. We were superb. Excellent in possession, dangerous in the final third and resilient at the back. A complete performance completely undermined by our complete radge of a manager. Disappointing, but now the equally hot-tempered John Carver is in charge of touch-line duties, and I for one hopes he doesn’t end up twatting someone before Pardew gets back – it will count as a success if he doesn’t.

The second main news story that has broken in my absence is one that I think has not got nearly enough air time or publicity and that is the scandalous revelation that Mike Ashley is currently in the middle of trying to sell the benefit of the lease held by NUFC for a plot of land by Strawberry Place.

The significance of this potential sale of the lease is that it ensures that St James’ Park will never, ever be expanded beyond its current capacity of just over 52,000, the reason being that the only place where significant expansion could take place is on the Gallowgate, and in order to do that the stadium would need to be expanded outwards towards the road and possibly occupying the plot of land that is currently for sale. If that sale goes through, and the lease goes into private hands, NUFC will have no control over what is built on that land, thus putting paid to any plans for future development.

The financial benefits that will come from the sale of this land are minimal and will certainly not be invested back into the club – even it was, the income is so minimal it would only likely buy us a squad player at best. There seems to be no logic behind why Mike Ashley feels the need to sell this plot of land. The benefits to him are so minimal, yet the damage it does to the long-term future development of St James’ Park is critical. One could see it simply as asset stripping at best, or vindictive contempt being shown to both the club and its fans at its worst. Either way, this ground-sale should not be seen as a positive step by the club and steps should be taken to fight the club on this every step of the way.

Now that I have gotten that out-of-the-way, I will now get back to what all this should really be about – football. Once more, I am not going to be positive, so you’ve been warned again if you’ve made it this far.

Recent results have been a mixed bag. While we’ve beaten the likes of Aston Villa, Hull and Crystal Palace recently one could say that we were extremely fortunate in getting last-minute winners against both Villa and Palace at home. Add to that the humiliating 4-0 home defeat to Spurs and the insipid away display against practically relegated Fulham means that on the pitch, we’ve been pretty s**t recently with absolutely no dawn on the horizon – in fact things have gotten worse with recent injuries to both Mathieu Debuchy and Loic Remy.

Our victory against Palace last weekend masked fundamental flaws in our game, and shows how toothless we are in the final third. Also, our inability to keep possession in midfield in the absence of a Cabaye-type player is something that must urgently be addressed in the summer.

So what does all this mean heading into tonight’s match-up against Everton? Well I for one have always found Everton to be an interesting case study with which to do a comparison on. Both similarly sized clubs – arguably NUFC is bigger than Everton in terms of wider support and infrastructure yet they have consistently finished higher than us in the league in recent years and are certain to do so again this season. They have an ownership model that is prudent yet ambitious – tying up Baines to a new 4 year contract while Ashley flogged Cabaye for under/around his market value to a mega-rich club halfway through the season should amply demonstrate the mindset of both clubs. That is not to say they are unwilling to sell some top players, but that money is usually re-invested in its entirety with no word of agents fees, wages, inflation etc. unlike a certain North East club who will do everything and anything to hoodwink, deceive and outright lie if it means avoiding spending money.

Anyway, I’ve digressed – focus on the football – from a footballing perspective, Everton have performed very well this season under Martinez. Save for big defeats to Liverpool in the league and Arsenal in the FA Cup, they have had some very good results since the turn of the year; winning 6, drawing 1 and losing only to Spurs and Chelsea in that time.

With exciting young players like Ross Barkley and Seamus Coleman stepping into their own this season, coupled with the talents of players like Mirallas, Baines and the dominant Lukaku, they look a match for most team in the league. However, I am a Newcastle United fan, and while I can admire (even envy) their set-up I would have always backed us to do well at home against them – as we usually do. However, I do not think we will come out of this game with a solitary point. We lack any cutting edge up front, and when faced with the experience of Jagielka and Distin, I do not think de Jong or Cisse will cause them any trouble as pace is what troubles these 2 defenders, yet neither of our front-men are blessed with it.

In midfield, I think Tiote will be more than a match for Barkley, who is still wet behind the ears in some sense, but Tiote will need to be on his game. Anita will need to be ever-present and show he is capable of holding on to the ball. While Sissoko and Gouffran will need to be at their best if they are to not only cause Baines and Coleman trouble, but to also contain these 2 attacking full-backs from marauding past them and putting our back 4 under pressure.

Without Santon at left-back we have looked more solid. While Dummett needs to work on being a consistent attacking threat from that position, he is a much welcomed change in a defensive side to the utterly abysmal Santon. However, missing Debuchy’s attacking outlet and composed defensive work will be a problem as M’biwa does not look overly comfortable there.

Williamson was the only man capable of handling Lukaku in the previous fixture when we were spanked 3-0 at Goodison, unfortunately it took until half-time to get him on the field to do the job. He will have a full 90 mins and I will back him in an aerial duel against the powerful Belgian. In fact, it is the centre-half pairing of Colo and Williamson where I have the most faith, but there is only so much they can do.

Unfortunately, I cannot see us scoring, nor do I see us preventing Everton from scoring, and unless Everton are off their game, or we are really on it, I cannot see anything other than a 2-0 defeat.

A parting word before I go. It is good to be back writing again as I have personally missed it despite there being nothing to write home about on the pitch. I see our last few games as utterly pointless and I am willing this season to be over – which is a depressing mode to be in as a football fan. I can only hope for a little bit of entertainment between now and the end of the season, but I won’t take much joy, or indeed misery, from our remaining results. While the off-field antics of our owner and the touch-line madness of our manager dominate the headlines, it is hard to think of this club as anything other than a maddening circus rolling from one disaster to the next.

Unfortunately, I think the next disaster is only a few short months away when the transfer window both opens and shuts but that is another article for another day. Stay tuned for more depressing drivel between now and the end of the season!

 

Cabaye sale represents cross-roads for NUFC

And he wonders why no-one takes him seriously

Our Director of F*** All, Joe Kinnear has not been well received at Newcastle United, ever since his second coming at the club where he announced himself as wiser than any Newcastle United supporter way back in June 2013. Thankfully, in the intervening period he has refrained from making public announcements, and his dialogue with the fans now comes in the way of programme notes that he certainly has no part in writing, or even dictating. Supposedly, Kinnear was in Germany looking into securing the loan signing of Luuk De Jong, but we have our doubts whether he even managed to get the Tom-Tom switched on. Anyway, childish insults aside, it would appear that Kinnear’s credibility is about to take another knock, as fans were assured that no top players were to be sold in January affording us the ‘strength in depth’ that has been preventing any incomings this transfer window.

Despite these assertions, it was agreed last night that Cabaye will indeed be on his way to PSG for a fee ‘significantly higher’ than the £14 million that they first bid for him. Pardew had repeatedly emphasised how vulnerable non-Champion League clubs are when it comes to keeping their best players (as he always does, funny how Everton’s manager Martinez never showed that vulnerability, in fact they have just signed Baines up to a new contract) and he came out yesterday saying that he was “not confident” in keeping Cabaye, no wonder as he most likely knew at that point that he was faced with a future without his star man.

Of course, the real problem is not Pardew whimpering about how vulnerable we are – after all he has had his fingers burnt by Ashley before when he claimed Carroll was not for sale only for Ashley to flog him when top dollar came in and has done again by selling Cabaye from under his feet – so naturally Pardew will cover his own backside. The real problem is not how useless and ineffective Kinnear is at his job – we all knew he was a borderline alcoholic with tendencies that one would suspect of a dementia patient – so naturally the blame cannot lie with him either. The real issue, and I will repeat this until I get through to the apologists, is Mike Ashley.

The issue is not about Cabaye leaving.  The issue that should be on the tip of everyone’s tongues is why he is leaving. I mentioned the situation regarding Leighton Baines at Everton, easily regarded as Everton’s top man, just as Cabaye was easily regarded as ours. Similar situations in that respect. The speculation surrounding Baines and a possible move to Manchester United to follow his old boss also mirrors the speculation surrounding Cabaye’s possible step up to a bigger club in a European arena as Arsenal were chasing his signature in the summer. Similar situations in that respect as well. Both clubs are (or should be) top 7 clubs, knocking on the door of the big boys, but never quite getting there. However, the manner in which both clubs are run is quite different indeed. While Martinez strives to gatecrash the top clubs and strive for European football, Pardew has already shown his disdain for European competition. While Martinez does not wax lyrical about his top players to try to evoke media pressure and speculation about their futures, Pardew has essentially been pimping Cabaye out to anyone who would have him in his comments to the media. And crucially, while Kenwright has amply demonstrated his ambitions for a club like Everton (regarded as smaller than us not long ago) by offering his key player a brand new contract, Ashley has equally demonstrated his lack of ambition for our club by viewing our star players purely as commodities – every one of which with a price-tag on their head, with Cabaye being the latest of which whose price has been matched.

There are fans out there who will look at a £25 million pound transfer and rationalise it,  and see it as good business. These people will say things like “he isn’t as good as Mata, so to get £25 million quid is a good deal” or “well we only bought him for £4.5 million, so that is a healthy profit” but they are missing the point entirely. Pardew has admitted that our team is built around Cabaye, so the logical inference is that without Cabaye we have no focal point, and are a lesser team without him – obviously. Without Cabaye, we could also see a dip in morale in our squad, especially those who harbour ambition. Needless to say, selling your star player without an adequate replacement can hardly be seen as the most ambitious step can it? Cabaye is also seen as a leader, a spark who can ignite our attacking play. Without Cabaye we lack that creative outlet that we so desperately need.

We are at a cross-roads concerning the direction of our football club. The decision to sell Cabaye gives a clear indication which road we will be going down. Down one route lies a concerted effort to crack the top 6/7 on a year-in year-out basis which would require bringing in an adequate replacement immediately. On top of this we would also need to bolster the squad we already have to demonstrate proper ambition moving forward. Down another route lies perpetual mid-table mediocrity which would be keenly shown by failing to bring in someone of equal ability or better than Cabaye.

Personally, I did not think that we would sell Cabaye in this transfer window. As far as I am concerned Cabaye is of a class of player whom Newcastle United should have labelled as “Not for Sale” – he was our star man, he was our Leighton Baines. The contrast in how Newcastle and Everton have treated their star men in this transfer window is a miniature reflection of the contrast of direction of both clubs.

I have my own opinion on what road Ashley will take this club down. What is yours?

Newcastle’s small squad filled with rubbish

1 rubbish player offloaded. Who’s next?

Newcastle United have a small squad. So any talk of selling any of our players must seem odd. However, there exists, in the Newcastle squad, a class of players who are either so far from the first team, or should be so far from the first team, that their presence in our 25 man squad is an absolute embarrassment which makes a cull of the Newcastle United first team squad necessary at some point in the near future.

The first part of that cull was put in operation with the decision to offload Jonas Gutierrez to Norwich City on loan with the option for them to buy him for £3 million in the summer. Despite loyally serving the club since 2008 I would have to say that he is a terrible player and should have been ditched quite some time ago.

Some might think this harsh but I would hold similar feelings for players like Steven Taylor, Gabriel Obertan, Romain Amalfitano, Sylvain Marveaux, Shola Ameobi, Papiss Cisse, Robbie Elliott etc. So there is a sizeable portion of our squad whom I don’t think will make the grade at our club.

However, we are in somewhat of a quandary as there is a fear that if we were to sell these players, Mike Ashley would not adequately replace them, and this is a concern that I myself would share, which is why I wish to retain these players in order to make up the numbers. While Mike Ashley is in charge we will always have a squad that makes up the numbers, rather than be competitive which is why most Newcastle United fans are reluctant to see any players leave.

This should not be the case. If a player is not good enough to play for the club they should not be here. They should be sold and then replaced with someone of a higher standard. Simple. I’ve heard some people make ludicrous suggestions that Mike Ashley’s transfer policy is much better than Shepherd’s – we don’t buy expensive players at crazy wages I will grant you that but we still make terrible signings even with the expert guidance of chief scout Graham Carr and what is worse, we refuse to sell them on even when they are proven to nothing but duffers.

Newcastle United’s squad could be faced with a crisis in the summer. Players like Cabaye and Colocinni – our actually decent players – are more than likely going to be on the move in the summer, Shola’s contract is expiring and Loic Remy will be moving on to pastures new after his lease is up. Our pathetically small squad will be even smaller, and still lumbered with the same tripe that currently masquerades as first team players.

Our squad is short of 3/4 quality players as it stands. With the fact that we are going to lose at least 3 players from that squad in the summer it would appear that we would then need 7 first team signings in order to bring it up to scratch and that is without replacing any of the rubbish in our squad. If we were then to sell someone like Marveaux or Cisse, they would then also need to be replaced, meaning that an extraordinary amount of signings would need to be made. It would make sense if 1 or 2 of those signings were made during the January window in preparation for this exodus that we will be faced with but given that we are half way through the January window I am beginning to think that, once more, Ashley is hanging our squad out to dry.

We are regressing under Mike Ashley. We have a poor squad, an average manager and the teams that we should be competing with – Livepool, Spurs, Everton – will be moving forward leaving us in their dust. Unless we begin to operate ambitiously in the transfer market we will always be among the “best of the rest” in mid-table. If you’re happy having a paper thin squad, your season finished in January, no cup run, and no chance of Europe, then perhaps you should give Mike Ashley a call. There may be a PR job waiting for you…

Latest survey is not good reading for Ashley

Quickly losing support

The Chronicle has, once more, taken its Big Toon survey halfway through the season to gauge the feelings of its readers on how Newcastle United’s season has been going thus far and how the fans feel about the likes of Pardew, Kinnear and Ashley.

While these results are not a conclusive representation of the feelings of Newcastle United fans, it can be taken as a cross-section of the Newcastle United support and it must be said that the last 6 months have not been kind to Mr Ashley, as the results show.

The last Big Toon Survey was taken at the end of the 2012/13 season, with a surprising amount of Newcastle fans putting their faith in the current custodian of the club. 23.6% of the fans were content, and massive 38.3% were content but waiting for results to improve. While a surprising 29.1% are content with Ashley, only 16% are content but waiting for results to improve.

In the last survey, 6.9% of fans said they were very happy with Ashley and that figure has dipped to 4.2%.

It is in the negative category where results have taken a massive swing however. In the last survey, 20.5% said they were unhappy with Ashley while only 10.7% said it was Time for Change. This time around those figures are much higher with 25.5% unhappy with Ashley’s stewardship and 25.1% now thinking that it is Time for Change.

As I said, many will doubt the validity of these results – probably because they did not bother to fill in the survey themselves – and I agree that they do not reflect the views of every single Newcastle United supporter, but they are meant to act as a representation of a cross-section of the support. With that in mind it would appear that many Newcastle United fans are opening their eyes to Mike Ashley and getting seriously fed up.

It is also worth noting that the survey was conducted before we crashed out of the FA Cup, thus ending our season in January, and if we see another window close without investment, it is beyond the realms to think that many more would become disillusioned with Ashley if that were the case.

Personally I dislike Ashley, I disagree with his method of running the football club. I disagree with the way he treats loyal fans with contempt. I disagree with the ‘Money is my God’ approach he takes to our football club. I disagree with his ‘minimum input, maximum output’ manner of managing the depth of our squad. I disagree with the sheer lack of honest communication that comes from the club. I can safely say that I probably disagree with nearly every aspect of Mike Ashley’s existence in a Newcastle United context.

I look forward to the next Big Toon Survey at the end of the season – which could effectively be taken now because we have little or nothing to play for now given that we have secured our Premier League survival. Ah, the joys of supporting Newcastle United…

Will lack of depth be Newcastle’s undoing?

Missing this weekend

The Newcastle United team basically picks itself when we are at full strength. That isn’t because we have a set of 11 players who are on such red-hot form that picking anything other than those 11 players would be sheer madness. No, it is because our bench/fringe players are so lacking in quality that Pardew has no other choice but to pick the same players week in week out – with the possible exception of  M’biwa, Haidara and Anita who could, on their day, stake a realistic claim for starting.

So needless to say, when injuries and suspension hit, some serious shuffling needs to be done, and as is always the case when a settled team has to shuffle around, sometimes cracks appear, as was the case in our FA Cup disaster last weekend at home to Cardiff. Arguably we had a strong enough team on show to win that game, but also in the same token, it could be said that by playing players who had just come through a long, arduous Christmas period, they were dead on their feet and needed to be rotated. Gouffran was one such example.

While the likes of Lee Charnley and John Irving, in the latest Fan’s Forum on Monday, intimated that the team on display was strong enough to win the FA Cup game against Cardiff, I personally disagree. I looked at the areas in which we rotated – Rob Elliott came in for Tim Krul, Steven Taylor came in for Mike Williamson, and M’biwa came in for the injured Colo. Santon moved to right back in place of the suspended Mathieu Debuchy and Massadio Haidara replaced him at left back. Papiss Cisse replaced Loic Remy up front, Anita came in for Cabaye and Hatem Ben Arfa replaced Shola. As I said before, with the exception of M’biwa, Anita and Haidara, the other replacements were simply not good enough, and will never be good enough to provide sufficient depth for a Premier League side.

Rob Elliott is a decent understudy, but is Championship level at best. He performed well enough when called upon last season in place of Tim Krul when he was suffering various different injuries and he seems like a model pro. However, he is no Harper/Given. He is no Krul/Harper. Newcastle United have a history of having quality understudies in nets and unfortunately Elliott, while good, does not seem like he will ever make the grade in the top flight.

Papiss Cisse is an enigma. Despite scoring 13 goals in his first 14 games for the club, I have had to come to the conclusion that he is simply a poor striker who no longer deserves to be at this club. While he may have scored last weekend, it was a rare, and rather bundled goal. His only other goals this season have come in the League Cup against Leeds, and a gift, quite literally, from the penalty spot against Stoke in the 5-1 victory a few weeks ago. Some argued that it was a dip in confidence that did it for him, due to Demba Ba being preferred up front on his own, and Cisse being farmed out to the right-wing, and when Cisse was played down the middle, the goals would come. I even believed that story myself, but alas it was a false prophecy. 8 league goals last season is testament to that fact. He makes poor decisions, makes poor runs, is not clinical enough in a one-on-one situation and has no other redeeming features that could possibly make him a decent option for the team. His hold up play is non-existent, lacks any aerial ability whatsoever, and unless he is firing on all cylinders, like he was when he first signed, is an absolute liability. As things stand, Shola Ameobi is higher up the pecking order than wor Papiss, and when that happens, you know you’re out of favour. Papiss Cisse will never make it at this club and I hope the club sell him and replace him with someone who could actually give Pardew a few selection headaches due to the options they bring to the team. As it stands, Cisse is giving the fan base a collective headache with his sheer inability to do anything of worth.

However, it is in defence where I worry the most. Mike Williamson has come from nowhere this season and has made himself No 1 centre-half this season. While I will continue to dispute that he is not really good enough to be considered our best centre back, I must concede that on form, this is indeed the case and long may it continue as he has been nothing short of a revelation this season. What has complemented this partnership is the return to some semblance of form of Fabricio Colocinni. He still remains a shadow of his former self, but alongside Williamson we have seemed to have found a combination that works well for us. With the emergence to stardom of right back Mathieu Debuchy we also seemed to have unearthed another gem this season. So you can imagine how worried I was last weekend – following the injury to Colo and the suspension of Debuchy – when I saw Steven Taylor lining out at centre back and Davide Santon lining out at right back.

Let me put this in unequivocal language. Neither Steven Taylor, nor Davide Santon, should be let within 10 miles of a Premier League defence. Steven Taylor is clumsy, lacks concentration, cannot hold the line to save his life, and is an all-round buffoon who reminds me of the heady days of Bramble and Boumsong *shudders*. Davide Santon lacks any of the attributes required of even the most basic, bog-standard Premier League full-back. He has no spatial/positional awareness. He fails 9/10 to close down the cross. Lacks any strength in the tackle. Has no aerial prowess. Needs constant guidance to hold the line, and isn’t even that good going forward from defence into attack, and when he does (and inevitably loses the ball) he takes forever and a day to get back into position. All of this is when he is playing in his preferred left-back position! He is even worse when he is playing right-back!

I am not even going to broach the subject of Hatem Ben Arfa in this essay because my feelings on him are akin to my feelings on Santon, and have been for some time. I feel that some of our fans are more lenient in their assessments of these 2 because they can do pretty things with the ball at their feet. Well I am sorry. I care more about what a player brings to  the team, than what he can do for his own ego.

As we head into a very difficult game on Sunday, against a side brimming with confidence, and brimming with goals, I fear the worst. Our midfield and forward line picks itself due to lack of depth, and we can pretty much guess which four will be lining up in our defence on Sunday (albeit the permutations may differ) and that fills me with dread. I would be amazed, and impressed if we escaped on Sunday with a clean-sheet and unless something is done either in this transfer window, or at the very least, the summer transfer window to rid our squad of some the inept mediocrity that is plaguing it – I haven’t even begun to lay into Obertan, Marveaux and Jonas! – and replace it with young, hungry, talented players who could actually provide something for our first team, I think we will be looking at mid-table and early cup exits for a long time to come.

Negative? Yes. Wrong? Not on your life.

 

Pardew a symptom, not the cause of Newcastle’s cup woes

Not the real problem

Newcastle United, once more, crashed out of the FA Cup without so much as a whimper and for another year, Newcastle United fans will have to wait to see their beloved team lift any silverware. Ever since lifting the European Fairs Cup back in 1969, United fans have been starved of any form of success (unless you want to count the Inter-toto Cup, or the Championship? Thought not).

When one looks at the lack of silverware in the Newcastle United trophy cabinet, one has to beg the question of ‘Why? Why has it been so long since this big club, one of England’s biggest clubs, has won a trophy?’ While the question is easy to pose, it is much harder to answer.

While I cannot explain our lack of cup success in the years leading up to Mike Ashley becoming the custodian of this great club, I can offer an explanation as to why, under his tenure, we will never win a trophy.

Mike Ashley is the running this great football club for the benefit of 1 person – Mike Ashley. Trophies do not matter. Titles do not matter. European qualification does not matter. Why? Because it takes a decent squad to achieve all of the above, and you cannot have a decent squad without investment.

We have one of the finest assembled first elevens we have had since the heady days of Sir Bobby Robson, yet when you scratch the surface, our squad is woeful, to say the very least. Are we to believe that the likes of Steven ‘Up for the Fight’ Taylor is good enough to represent this club? Or Jonas Gutierrez? Or Sylvain Marveaux? Or Gabriel Obertan? Our squad, simply put, is filled with absolute tripe, and the sooner this tripe is eradicated and replaced with actual talent, the better off this club will be.

That will never happen though, because when someone is let go, eventually that person will need to be replaced – ideally with someone else of a higher standard – which costs money. Money that Mike Ashley has amply demonstrated that he is not willing to spend. Ergo, these players must be retained. If our squad is going to be packed to the rafters with utter garbage, then how are we ever expected to maintain a decent league position, and challenge for a cup?

If you found it difficult to follow that train of thought, how about following this, much simpler one. In the last Fans Forum meeting, club director John Irving was asked whether or not Newcastle United will tackle one of the cups. The very swift answer to that question was ‘No’. The cups are not a priority, and are merely training exercises in which we give our fringe players a run-around. Not too many teams win trophies with that kind of mentality.

So what have to look forward to while we remain under the custodianship of Mike Ashley? Mid-table most of the time. Knocked out in the cups early and a fluked 5th place finish maybe. Don’t worry though, if that fluked 5th place finish gets your blood pumping and thinking we may actually achieve something, Mike Ashley will swiftly fail to invest and see us fighting a relegation battle the very next season.

Wake up Newcastle fans and smell the rich aroma of mediocrity. It may awaken you from your apathetic slumber.

Defeat, injury, suspension. Good day at the office…

Poor result for NUFC

Following our recent sparkling run of form, I awoke on this bright new year with an optimistic approach to today’s away fixture. Our 2 recent away wins to Crystal Palace and Manchester United, coupled with our recent impressive performances, had me in buoyant mood about our chances. Needless to say then that the rather toothless display from our boys today in their 1-0 defeat against West Bromwich Albion – a team who had failed to win in their last 10 outings before today – was a bitter pill to swallow.

However, it wasn’t our inability to string 3 passes together that overly worried me. Nor was I overly annoyed by the lack of cutting edge we showed today. Of course these were issues that need addressing in training, but what really concerns me about today’s game is the injury to Fabricio Coloccini, and the 3 match suspension that will be dished out to Mathieu Debuchy.

Debuchy, rightfully, got sent off for a 2 footed lunge in the 63rd minute and a few short minutes afterwards, Coloccini had to be withdrawn with a knee injury that will supposedly keep him out for 4-6 weeks.

In my recent articles, I highlighted the need for investment in January as a means to keeping up our fine start to the season. I did concede, however, that we could still have a very good season with the current squad, so long as we avoided injuries and suspensions. Lo and behold, on the first day of the January transfer window, we have suffered both in 1 game. Surely, this is the wake up call that Mike Ashley needs. When Debuchy was last suspended, M’biwa slotted in at right back, and we coped very well in our win at home to Norwich with a make shift back four. In our next 3 games we are faced with a bit of a dilemma. Do we stick M’biwa at right back and slot Steven Taylor – a man who has not played for months, and is frankly not good enough – at centre half? Do we move Santon over to right back, Haidara to left back and M’biwa in for Colo? What’s more, what happens if another of our centre halves suffer an injury? Do we have the resources to cope?

Also, while I did say that I was not overly concerned by our lack of cutting edge today, I was worried about how ineffective Shola Ameobi, Loic Remy, Yoan Gouffran and Hatem Ben Arfa were today. I do feel that we need more attacking options in order to provide stiffer competition for the players we currently have.

I would hope that today’s result, injury and suspension will alert Mike Ashley to how exposed we can be if we were to suffer any more casualties, but I am not holding my breath. Also, I would like to make the point that we are 8th following 20 games, which is where I think a club like Newcastle United should be at this stage (if not higher) and while I am content with where we are currently, I should hope that our league form does not suffer following today’s casualties.

What do you think? Are you concerned following the loss of Debuchy and Coloccini? What signings would you sanction if you were Mike Ashley? (perish the thought!)